Sunday, July 17, 2011

Family Happiness

BLOG!

Here are some links to some of my favorite mommy blogs, where these ladies share their experiences in motherhood and express the joys that come with it:

1. NieNie Dialogues
Stephanie Nielson and her Husband were in a plane crash in 2008, and they recently have made a new advertisement with mormon messages, (see below) where they talk about how they have found happiness and comfort through the gospel of Jesus Christ



2. The Rockstar Diaries

3. NattheFatRat

4. Underaged and Engaged

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Family Happiness

Family Fun Magazine-



Family Fun Magazine and familyfun.go.com are great sources for fun crafts, activities, party ideas, vacations, and summer activities for families and kids. My favorite parts of the website are the creative, and inexpensive halloween costumes they come up with, and the awesome archives of healthy snacks or tasty treats! They have simple directions that are easy to follow and fun to do with your kids!






Family Happiness

"There is no other organization that can so completely satisfy our need for belonging and happiness like the family."-Elder Marlin K. Jensen

We will never experience the same joys in this life that we do when we are in a family. Families experiences the most joy and happiness when they are keeping the commandments of God. When families center their homes on the teachings of Jesus Christ their home becomes a laboratory of love, a refuge from the world, and a place of worship.

" Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities"- The Family: A Proclamation to the World

When these principles are applied in the home, a family will grow together, learn together, and develop close relationships that will last for the rest of their lives, and into the eternities.

It is up to the father and mother to create happiness in the home. This can be achieved by holding family home evening, daily scripture studies, family prayer, and by attending church meetings together.

Family Happiness

Families can be Together Forever

Parenting Practices

Top 10 Best Sellers

Book List- A few books from the Deseret Book best seller list

1. "5 Spiritual Solutions For Everyday Parenting Challenges" By: Richard and Linda Eyre




7. "The Power of Positive Parenting: A Wonderful Way to Raise Children" By: Dr. Glenn Latham



10. "The Entitlement Trap" By Richard and Linda Eyre

Parenting Practices

Parenting Tips in the News

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy




Parenting Practices

Family: Isn't it About Time?




Parenting 101: A New Language




Mormon Messages: Moments that Matter Most (that's a tongue twister!)


Parenting Practices

Here Are some great tips on parenting practices I found on the San Francisco Chronicles Website. They're quick, easy to remember and most importantly they're effective!

1. Love and affection.
You support and accept the child, are physically affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time together.

2. Stress management. You take steps to reduce stress for yourself and your child, practice relaxation techniques and promote positive interpretations of events.

3. Relationship skills. You maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse, significant other or co-parent and model effective relationship skills with other people.

4. Autonomy and independence. You treat your child with respect and encourage him or her to become self-sufficient and self-reliant.

5. Education and learning. You promote and model learning and open-mindedness for your child.

6. Life skills. You provide for your child, have a steady income and plan for the future.

7. Behavior management. You make extensive use of positive reinforcement and punish only when other methods of managing behavior have failed.

8. Health. You model a healthy lifestyle and good habits, such as regular exercise and proper nutrition, for your child.

9. Religion. You support spiritual or religious development and participate in spiritual or religious activities.

10. Safety. You take precautions to protect your child and maintain awareness of the child's activities and friends.

Parenting Practices

Want to know your parenting style? go here for a free, quick quiz by Active Parenting Publishers to find out if you are an autocratic, permissive or active parent.

Parenting Practices

In class we reviewed a PowerPoint Presentation called "The Power of Encouragement", it discuss parenting practices that will promote self-esteem and courage in children when their parents encourage them rather than focus on their children's mistakes or inform their children of negative expectations.


The think-feel-do cycle displays the cycle of actions starting with the event, after-thoughts, feelings about the event, and actions effected by the event...which therefore create a new event.



The PowerPoint explained actions through perspective of the parent and the child. A child only witnesses a parent's actions, they do not know what emotions their parent has, or the thoughts they had regarding the event that took place. A child will then react to these actions with their thoughts, emotions, and their actions later on. The problem with this cycle is that parents may have good intentions but their actions don't display them, or the parents let their emotions get the best of them in a heated moment, and the child will hold onto that action.

For example, if a child never receives any positive reinforcement when he gets a good grade on a test or scores a goal at his soccer game, he might not think his accomplishments are that great, so he may not try as hard in school to get good grades. But when parents give attention when their child has done something wrong, they're enforcing negative expectations (not letting a child poor their own milk because they are only going to spill it). Parents that only focus on mistakes, promote lack of self-esteem and lower the confidence of their child. Their thoughts might be...If I do bad things my parents give me attention, so maybe I should continue getting into trouble.

If a parent notices patterns such as these, they should examine their actions around their child. How are they reacting when something exciting happens? How are they acting during down time at home? Do they separate themselves from the child, or interact with them? These can be indicators of whether or not your child is receiving enough attention.

Parenting Principles

The partnership between a husband and wife is a beautiful thing, and when we embrace our divine roles and traits we can create a home of love and unity.

Howard W. Hunter said, "Whatever Jesus lays His hands upon, lives. If He lays His hands upon a marriage, it lives. If He is allowed to lay His hands on the family, it lives."

The roles of the mother and father are separate, but equal. When husband and wife can respect and support each other in their responsibilities there is an increase in gratitude for each other. Fathers are meant to provide for their family, but are also involved in the emotional work of raising their children and assisting their wives in household labor. When wives show support of their husbands in their career, there is an increase of devotion and adoration. She can also verbalize gratitude when her husband helps around the house, and avoid criticism if he does something different than what she would normally do. When husbands include their wives in decision-making, managing finances, and creating order in the home, there is an increase of respect towards one another and a sense of equality between the two. She will not feel inferior to her husband, and she will have greater sense of self purpose and individual worth, and she gains confidence when she is not treated as a "trophy wife".

Parenting Principles

Listen to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland give a beautiful message about mothers, and their eternal partnership with God

Parenting Principles

This is my favorite mormon message. Listen President Uchtdorf give guidance about our divine desires to create

Parenting Principles











Parenting Principles

Great Quotes

“Successful parents have found that it is not easy to rear children in an environment polluted with evil. Therefore, they take deliberate steps to provide the best of wholesome influences. Moral principles are taught. Good books are made available and read. Television watching is controlled. Good and uplifting music is provided. But most importantly, the scriptures are read and discussed as a means to help develop spiritual-mindedness”
-President Ezra Taft Benson

Parenting Principles

This video doesn't give any advice on parenting, but when I watch it I think to myself, this is how I want my future family to be.

The Mabry Family
Brinton Films

The Mabry Family from Brinton Films on Vimeo.

Parenting Principles

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord"(Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

-The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Preparation For Marriage

Flash from the Past 3.0

Okay I'm getting a little carried away with these old school posts but they're just so cute I can't handle it. This is the 1965 edition of the "For Strength of Youth", a pamphlet handed out to all LDS youth, with guidelines for standards of dress and grooming, dating, language, entertainment, and a couple others. Here's the comparison from 1965 to 2011.









Preparation for Marriage

In class we covered a PowerPoint Presentation that spoke volumes to me called, "How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk". In the presentation it talks about the "Relationship Attachment Model". The R.A.M is a graph of five factors in a relationship that each build upon each other :




Know, Trust, Rely, Commit, Touch

Each of these factors make up human attachment.
First you know someone, then you can build trust, and then rely upon them, commit to them, and then when you are committed to each other, you show appropriate levels of physical affection.

For example: You would not engage in physical intimacy with someone that you are not committed to. The R.A.M describes physical intimacy as a bonding agent, that "binds couples together". If you were to participate in such acts before you get to know someone, trust them, rely upon them and commit to them, it makes your relationship unstable and there will be emotional disorder.

Preparation for Marriage

Flash From the Past 2.0
"How Much Affection?"- This video may seem old and outdated, but the advice that the mother gives to her daughter are simple, loving and true

Preparation for Marriage

Flash From the Past: 1950's campaign for marriage preparation



Preparation for Marriage

Book List:

These are a few great books to pick up if you're seriously considering marriage, or just want to prepare for marriage in the future

1." How do you Know When You're Really in Love?: The Guide to Dating, Courtship, and Marriage" By: Robert K. McIntosh




2. "First Comes Love" By: Mark Ogletree and Douglas E. Brinley




3. "300 Questions LDS Couples Should Ask Before Marriage" By: Shannon L. Alder



4. "Married for Better, Not Worse: The Fourteen Secrets to a Happy Marriage" By: Gary and Joy Lundberg

Preparation for Marriage

Listen to the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland speaking about Christlike love

Friday, July 15, 2011

Preparation for Marriage

Love Languages

learning your love language, and the language of others can be a great help in improving your close relationships. Knowing your love language can help when choosing a potential mate for many reasons. When dating the person you can ask yourself,

1. Does this person appeal to my love language and support me in the ways that I need?
2. Do I know how to love this person the best way possible, and do I fulfill their emotional needs?
3. How can I improve the way I love this person?
4. Can this person love me in a better way?

Love Languages can also improve marriages. When you communicate with each other your emotional needs, you can increase trust, intimacy and love in the relationship.

Go here where you can take a free quiz to find out your love language. It's quick, easy, and fun to do with your partner!

Preparation for Marriage

Deciding who we marry is the biggest decision a person will ever make, and preparation for this time in someone's life should be approached with such seriousness. A great talk written by Elder Dallin H. Oaks regarding dating before marriage can be found here.

Marriage is an Equal Partnership

Dr. W. Bradford Wilcox, Professor at the University of Virginia, explains that marital happiness is best achieved when egalitarianism is practiced in the home. Research and conclusions from his study conducted in 2006 found that "women who report division of household labor [to be] unfair are significantly less happy in their marriages than women who report division of household labor to be fair" (p. 1331). He also concluded that men's involvement in marital emotion work and household labor are "significant predictors in women's marital quality" (p. 1331).

Wilcox, Bradford W. (2006) "What's Love Got to Do with it? Equality, Equity, Commitment and Women's Marital Quality". Social Forces 84(3): 1321-1345.


Marriage is an Equal Partnership

Men and Women as Equals

It takes two people two opposite genders to come together, each with characteristics the opposite lacks, in order to perfect and refine one another. And it takes two different genders to come together to create life, and raise a family.


Since the Industrial Revolution, men and women have been separated by their differentiating social roles. My purpose in writing today, is to express my views as a Latter-day Saint on gender roles and the necessity for man and woman to work together in an equal partnership.

Gender roles within a marriage are divine and sacred. We as members of the church believe that men are called to, “preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families”, while women are “primarily responsible for the nurturing of their children” –The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Although men and women clearly have different responsibilities, we are also taught as Latter-day Saints that we are to recognize our spouses as equal partners, and treat them as such.

Women are by no means inferior to men because they do not earn a salary, and men are not subordinate to women due to their inability to bear children. The world portrays “man’s work” as being superior to motherhood, telling women that they are not good enough by simply being home-makers. We are told a career is what brings a person true happiness, that staying at home with children is imprisoning, and we as women should seek a greater title. When in reality, mother is the greatest and the most rewarding title a woman can ever have. Nothing is more beautiful, or more sacred.

Women are to nurture and rear their children, while men work hard to provide for and protect their families. Both of these roles are essential and equal, and a single individual will never be able to exemplify both, in a way that a husband and wife working together will be able to. Elder Bruce C. Haven, a leader in the LDS church, states that “each spouse freely gives something the other does not have and without which neither can be complete”. He continues to emphasize the need for equality between men and women, explaining spouses as “not a soloist with an accompanist, [but as] interdependent parts of a duet, singing together in harmony at a level where no solo can go”. Roles of men and women are divine, different in responsibility, but equal in essentiality to the family. We should not perceive these roles as barriers to our identity as men and women, but as sacred callings from a Heavenly Father who loves us, and knows what will bring his children the most joy possible.

Developing Selflessness Through Marriage


From the moment we are born, we—as human beings—have a life that is centered around ourselves. As a parent, you have a responsibility to provide for your children. You need to feed, clothe, shelter, and most importantly, nurture and rear up your children in righteousness. As a child, your job is to be taken care of. Sure you help your parents by doing your assigned chores around the house, but in all reality, you are the center of attention in the relationship, and the one on the receiving end.

Then, we kids grow up. We move out of the house, go to college and learn how to live on our own. This chapter in our life opens our eyes to what the world is really all about. And that tough reality is: the world does not revolve around you. Nobody is going to wake you up in the mornings for class, or buy your groceries for you, and no one is going to wash your sheets when they start to smell. We learn, as young adults, that we must fend for ourselves, and figure out how to live. This is a great opportunity to learn about yourself, others and the world around you. Although, on the contrary, living on your own for an extended period of time, inevitably leads us to be perhaps too comfortable in our surroundings, because we have established a lifestyle that is pleasing and fitting for ourselves only.

We are not meant to be alone, we are meant to be partnered off. The institution of marriage provides us a laboratory of learning. We no longer think in a self-centered manner. Your turns to ours.

Our money,

our home,

our decisions,

our life.

Being married teaches us to be selfless, to put others above ourselves, and provides us with the best opportunities to serve. In a marriage, you no longer think of yourselves, but the well-being of your spouse first and foremost . If a couple loves each other enough and can continually practice such selflessness, there will be an equal amount of concern for the other, and therefore, someone to care as much about them, as they did about themselves before they were married. Marriage is an irreplaceable opportunity for man and woman to perfect and complement one another. To help each other fulfill their divine destiny, and become more like the sons and daughters their Heavenly Father intended them to be.